Must Read: How School Pressure Fit Affect Students

Behind some of di best results na students wey dey fight battles nobody know about.

By Kofoworola Olayinka

Around 2:00a.m, Oyinkansola close her textbook, just dey look ceiling.
For almost thirty minutes, she don dey read di same page, but di words wey dey in front of her eyes no longer dey enter her head, her examination timetable dey hang for wall, three days remain for her hardest paper, and for her mind, three days no dey enough.
Her phone light up, na message from Mama.
“My daughter, I know say you go make us proud, keep pushing as we dey expect excellent result from you ooo.”
Oyinkansola read am once, she read am again, she wan type:
“Mummy, I don tire.” But she delete am, instead, she type:
“Thank you, Mummy, I no go disappoint you.”
She drop her phone, pick her pen, open her book again, as she try to read like dis, na so water begin dey pour for her eye.
By morning, Oyinkansola go enter class with her normal smile, everybody go see di brilliant student.
Nobody go know say di same girl wey dem dey praise for her excellent grades spend half of di night asking herself one question:
“Shey I dey good enough?”

When Excellence Turn To Burden

Oyinkansola na di kind student teachers dey like, she dey attend class, she dey submit assignment on time, she no dey miss deadline.
For secondary school, her result make teachers, family members and neighbours dey tok.
“Na brilliant girl, she go go far, she go make us proud.”
At first, those words dey sweet, later dem turn expectation.
By di time she enter higher institution, Oyinkansola don create one rule for herself:
Anything wey no be excellent na failure, she score 80, she happy for few minutes.
She score 70, she begin worry, anything below dat?
Her whole day don spoil, her friend Mide once look her after one test.
“You get one of di highest scores for class, you still dey vex?”
Oyinkansola shrug. “I for do better.” Mide look her face. “Shey you ever think say you don do enough?”
Oyinkansola laugh. “Never.” She tok am like joke, but inside dat small word, “never,” plenty things dey hide.

The Race Wey Nobody Ask Her To Enter

Academic pressure no just wake up one morning and enter Oyinkansola life.
E come small-small first, na to make Mama and Papa proud then na to graduate with excellent result then comparison enter. One classmate score pass her, another person finish assignment before her, another student answer question wey she no fit answer.
Then social media join di matter.
Everywhere she turn, somebody dey post academic achievement.
First-class result. Awards, scholarship, certificate, new achievement, new milestone.
And before she know wetin dey happen, school don stop to be place where she dey learn, school don turn race. Race wey she believe say she must win, she begin reject outings, friend’s call. she dey study, family call sometimes she no dey answer, she sleep late, wake early, read, read again, read one more time, even when she sleep, her brain no rest, what if I fail? What if I disappoint my parents? What if everybody pass me?
What if all dis suffering no still give me di result I want? Di questions follow her everywhere.

The Smile Wey Dey Hide Plenty Things

Di dangerous thing about academic pressure be say e no always look like pressure.
Sometimes e look like student wey never miss class, sometimes na person wey always get book for hand. Sometimes na di student wey everybody dey clap for because she get di highest mark. That one na Oyinkansola, her classmates see di grades, dem no see di nights, dem see di certificates, dem no see di tears, dem see her answer questions with confidence, dem no see di fear wey dey follow her enter every examination hall. One afternoon, Mide notice say Oyinkansola never touch her food.
“You never chop, I go chop later, you tok dat thing yesterday, I get work to finish.”
Mide collect di book from her hand. “Oyinkansola, wetin dey happen?” she replied “Nothing.” Mide replied “If na nothing, look my face tok am.”
Oyinkansola raise her head, silence, for some seconds, she no tok then almost like whisper, she say: “I don tire.”
Dat na di first time she tok am out.

When Body Don Say Enough

As weeks dey pass, things become worse. Oyinkansola dey constantly tired, concentration begin hard.
Di long hours wey she dey spend with her books no longer dey produce di result she expect.

One evening, she sit in front of her laptop for almost one hour, nothing, she no write anything , she close di laptop, then tears begin fall. “I no fit continue like dis,” she whisper, but di truth be say she no wan abandon school.
She no wan give up, she just want di pressure to stop, she want one day where her value no go depend on score, she want make mistake without feeling say her whole future don scatter, then examination day come,
she enter di hall feeling like person wey don already fail before dem give her paper, her hands dey shake, when dem share di question paper, she look am, she know some of di answers, but fear don lock her brain, after di examination, she waka comot, she sit under one tree, and cry, dis time she no care who see her.

You No Get To Carry Everything Alone

Na there Mide find her, Mide no ask: “How exam go?” She simply sit beside her, Both of dem keep quiet for some time then Mide talk: “You no get to carry everything alone.”
Dat sentence break something inside Oyinkansola.
She tok, really tok she tok about di fear, di pressure, mama and Papa expectations, di comparison, di sleepless nights, di feeling say no matter wetin she do, e never enough. She finally admit say for months, she don dey pretend say everything dey okay.
Mide kon encourage her to tok to school counsellor, at first, Oyinkansola hesitate
For her mind, asking for help mean say person weak. but she eventually go and gradually, things begin change, She learn how to plan her study time, she learn say break no be laziness, she learn say sleep no be waste of time, she learn say asking question no mean say person stupid, and above everything, she learn one truth wey many students need hear:
Your grade fit measure your academic performance, but e no fit measure your worth.

Sometimes, Rest Na Part of Di Work 

Di change no happen overnight some days still hard some exams still scare her, some results still disappoint her sometimes dat old voice still come:
“You for do better.”
But Oyinkansola begin answer dat voice differently, she still study hard, she still want good grades, but she no longer punish herself because she need rest, she begin spend time with friends, she eat properly, she sleep she ask for help when she need am.
And slowly, school begin feel like school again, not battlefield, not competition, not punishment, Just school.

Den Di Result Come

One semester later, her result enter Oyinkansola open di page she stare at di screen her grades good, but e no be perfect she no be di highest for class for few seconds, dat old disappointment return, then she smile a real smile , because dis time, she understand something, she don achieve something bigger than perfect score, she learn how to succeed without destroying herself.

Behind di A’s

Oyinkansola na fictional character but her story fit be di story of plenty students wey dey move around us every day, di student wey dey laugh for class but cry for hostel at night, di student wey everybody call “brilliant” but secretly dey feel like fraud, di student wey get excellent result but never feel proud of herself, di student wey dey afraid to tell Mama and Papa say: “I no dey okay. ”Parents want dia children to succeed. Teachers want dia students to perform, students want good future nothing bad dey inside wanting to excel, di problem start when excellence become prison, when one failed course begin look like failed life. When rest become laziness.
When asking for help become shame, when one bad result make student believe say everybody don pass am for life, we need to talk about dis, because sometimes, di student wey everybody dey praise fit be di same person wey desperately need somebody to ask: “Are you really okay?”

Dear Parents, Look Pass Di Result

Sometimes, Mama and Papa no mean to put pressure on dia children, dem just want di best. but sometimes, “We know say you go make us proud” fit sound different inside a child’s head.”
Di child fit hear: “You no fit fail us.”
There is a difference between encouraging a child and making dat child feel say love depends on performance.
Tell your child: “I believe in you,” But also tell am: “Even if di result no come di way we expect, you are still our child.”
Ask about dia mental and emotional well-being, not only dia grades, Ask: “How body?”
“How school?”
“Anything dey worry you? ”Not every conversation must end with” How many you score?”

Dear Students, Breathe

If you dey read dis and e feel like say na your story, hear this:
You no be your CGPA, you no be your examination result, you no be di number wey lecturer write for your paper, you no be di position wey dem give you for class, you are a human being before you are a student, rest when you need rest, tok when things become too heavy ask for help cry if you need to cry, and please, no suffer in silence because you dey fear say pipo go think say you weak, strong people too need support, behind some of the best results dey sleepless nights, behind some first-class students dey anxiety and fear behind some certificates dey tear, behind some smiles dey battles, and behind some “A’s” dey stories nobody ever hear.
So di next time you see dat student wey always dey top di class, no just say:
“Dis one na genius.”
Maybe ask:
“How you dey cope?”
Because sometimes, di greatest achievement no be di result printed on paper, sometimes, na simply being able to look yourself in di mirror and say:
“I make am through… and I still dey okay.”
And dat one?
Dat one na “A” wey truly matter.